We've heard more than our fair share of mom-shaming and unsolicited parenting advice. Do this, don't do this, why are you doing that, blah, blah, blah... It's exhausting! Where do you even start to figure out what's true and what's not? Keep reading... š
1. MYTH: āGood mothers know what their babies cries mean.ā
HA! We WISH we spoke baby! That would make things a whole lot easierā¦ The truth is, some moms are able to instantly recognize what their babyās cries and whimpers mean, and some moms canāt. But, if you fall in the latter category, you certainly are NOT a bad mom. After all, not all babies are consistent with their noises! When babies cry, most parents end up running through the usual suspects: Wet? Hungry? Gassy? Tired? Lonely? Sick? Hurt? Angry? Mystery? REPEAT!
We recommend trying to get into a routine. That way it may be easier to understand noises based on context. Some squeaking around afternoon naptime? Maybe sleepy. A bit of whimpering around feeding time? Maybe hungry.
2. MYTH: āDonāt pick up your newborn too much or theyāll always need your attention.ā
Newborns always need your attention period. Theyāre newborns. According to Maurice J. Elias, Ph.D., author of Emotionally Intelligent Parenting, your child āā¦has to gain confidence that you will respond to their needs.ā After that point, Dr. Elias says that āYour job is to pull back a bit and let baby figure out that they can survive, for a few minutes at least, without someone rushing to their side.ā Having built that trust initially will be critical for this stage and beyond.
3. MYTH: āYou should rely more on your maternal instincts.ā
Yes, moms may have an uncanny sixth sense at times when it comes to their children, but research shows now that much of what we have thought of as āmaternal instinctsā can actually be attributed to maternal anxiety. Worry is essential to motherhood and is absolutely normal. This isnāt to say you shouldnāt trust your gut feelings, but simply ensure that your intuition isnāt being clouded by panic. Remember to take a breath, ask for help, and always pay attention.
4. MYTH: āIf you donāt attach right away, thereās definitely something wrong with you.ā
For some moms, there is an instant attachment, for others, it takes a bit. Some new moms are just too exhausted, too ill, too anxious, or too scared to let themselves fall in love immediately and that is OKAY! Donāt automatically assume or let anyone tell you that youāre suffering from postpartum depression because of this. If you have ANY concerns, please reach out to your doctor to discuss.
5. MYTH: āIf youāre flexible, your child will take advantage of you.ā
"Be more strict." "Your kids have too much freedom." Boundaries are great, but flexibility certainly has plenty of room in parenting. After all, kids are unpredictable. Take the pressure off of your shoulders a bit and learn to go with the flow. There is no such thing as perfect parenting. Everyoneās s
tyle should be just as unique as their child.
6. MYTH: āDonāt introduce fruit first or your child wonāt like vegetables.ā
This one always makes us laugh. Trust us, itās 100% a myth. Just focus on feeding a variety of healthy new foods and your kiddo will get used to eating both fruits AND veggies.
If youāre still convinced that this one is true, you may just have a picky eater.
7. MYTH: āGet your child potty-trained as early as possible.ā
Sorry parents, you canāt force potty training if your kiddo isnāt ready. There are some behaviors that signal that your child is ready to potty train like fewer wet diapers and more regular bowel movements, but if youāre not seeing those, it may still be too early.
Think your kiddo may be ready for potty training? Check out our Potty Training Guide!
8. MYTH: āYou canāt bond if you donāt breastfeed.ā
We really donāt like hearing this one. Moms have so many ways to bond with their babies. For health reasons, if youāre fortunate enough to have the choice, we always encourage breastfeeding, but we respect and support moms who are in ALL situations. Whether youāre breastfeeding or bottle-feeding there are some surefire ways to bond during a mealtime: keep the room quiet and calm, donāt be afraid of skin to skin contact, communicate with your baby (eye contact, humming, etc.), and sniff that sweet little head (it releases oxytocin)!
9. MYTH: āYour child should be walking and/or talking by age X, Y, or Z.ā
Ughhhhhh. We really donāt like this one either. Please donāt fall into the trap of comparing your childās developments to other childrenās. There is a WIDE variance in walking and talking for children.
Research simply shows no correlation between the age at which the children reach these milestones and their intellectual or motor performance between the age of seven and eighteen. In short, by the time they reach school age, children who start walking or talking later than others are just as well-coordinated and intelligent as those who did so earlier!
If you have concerns about your childās developmental progress, just give a holler to your Pediatrician.
10. MYTH: āYou have to read to your child every day to make them smarter.ā
Nope. Your childās academic prowess is not exclusively dependent on you reading to them every single day. Rigorous demands like that cause more stress and will take the joy out of any activity. Yes, reading is an important skill in language development, but donāt put any undue pressure on yourself or your child to read every single day. All it takes for children to understand and appreciate the importance of reading is consistency (set quiet reading times a few times a week), fun (let your child pick the book), and setting the example. Theyāll be fine. We promise.
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